Brandon is 9 years old, I adopted him from the SPCA almost a year ago. He is a BC/Flat Coat Retriever X and is the most lovely dog I have ever owned. Brandon is quite a large dog, long black hair with a white chest and belly and has beautiful expressive eyes. He is very well trained, thanks to his previous owner who unfortunately passed away, and almost always listens and behaves. He is very laid back and focuses all his attention on me and basically ignores all other people. He watches me like a hawk, from his one brown eye (the nice, kind eye) and his one blue eye (the evil eye) and makes me feel so adored. It's like getting a hug all day when he is around.

Brandon has great dreams, based on all the noise and running he does in his sleep. He loves belly rubs and me talking softly in his ear about how handsome he is and how much I love him. He hates to travel in the car though he is getting used to it. (fortunately, as having to sling him over my shoulder or forcibly dragging him along the driveway to the car was really
hurting my back!). He chases cats and squirrels and he attempts to climb trees to get at them. We are working hard on our "leave it" as, though he hasn't hurt himself much, I on the other hand am tired of rolling on the ground or falling in ditches in his desire to prove his herding ability. Brandon is quite submissive and docile but once in awhile he tries to herd
the dogs in the doggy park and when they react, he looks at me like "what was I Thinking...now they are mad at me...protect me mom!" What a wimpy dog. Brandon loves his little sister Ginny and plays with her constantly, even when he doesn't want to. When the two of them are playing, Brandon makes noises exactly like a very loud Grizzly Bear who is either "in heat" after a 15 year hibernation or was just stung by a 50 pound wasp. You can imagine...I think...what that must sound like. It is the strangest noise I have ever heard. I can't imagine what the neighbours must think about the "new people who moved into the neighbourhood" and their strange ways....and the weird noises coming from their house......He is such a wonderful dog and I adore him.

My second pup is Ginny, who I adopted at the end of April from That'll Do Border Collie Rescue in Vancouver. She is about 9 months old and is part Border Collie, part she devil (actually I am not sure what the "other" part is) and is black, with a white chest and white feet. She reminds me of a barrel with skinny legs...she has a small head, pointed muzzle and beady eyes (just kidding...she really is gorgeous!). She chews everything and anything and especially likes paper (especially stuff I really, really need or newspapers I haven't read yet ) and really good leather shoes. In fact, I am in the midst of developing chew toys that
looks exactly like a $100 pair of shoes (ok, so there not really good leather shoes, but all I can afford) and papers that have really, really important phone numbers that you can't replace on them.....like the phone number of the really good looking, own my own house, have never been married, love to cook and clean,into women's rights, guy's phone number, who asked you to call him for a date...and you don't remember his last name, kinda of papers...yeah
you get the drift!..... and I am anticipating these will be great sellers in the pet stores! [Big Grin]

Ginny does have a huge Tupperware container of chew toys, bones, stuffed animals and balls but there is nothing like chewing expensive leather and the feel on her teeth must be sublime!. She obviously also enjoys the "look of love" on my face when I catch her doing it. I will have to practice more in the mirror to look really mean and serious. It's is horrible blow to your self-esteem when your own dog laughs in your face when you are attempting to punish them.

Ginny loves everyone (except teenagers with hoodies over their faces...but then doesn't everyone really...), loves all other dogs but thinks my cat should be called "Dinner" rather than "Shadow". I definitely have to keep the two separated at all times, though I am not sure who would come out the winner. Neither of my dogs are watch dogs (which is good) and in fact I caught Ginny the other day with a sign in her paw that said "hello robbers, the old witch is at work and I''m lonely, come on in and visit...I love people...and I will help you retrieve any valuables that I haven't already ruined". She will do anything for attention! The sign on my fence says "Beware of Dog" and I added the line "slobber" at the bottom so that people knew what they were up against should they decide to enter.

We attended obedience class and though we received a certificate, I am sure we really failed the class as we spent more time outside trying to calm down (and that was just me) than actually participating in the class. Also Ginny talked the whole time the instructor talked, which was kind of annoying as I noticed some people in the class were listening to what she had to say more than the instructor! Hey, maybe we could start our own class...yeah that's the idea....Ginny could talk to the class and I could demonstrate what not to do if you want your dog to listen and behave....could be a huge money maker. Gosh, we are doggy school rejects...oh well! I don't think we will be invited back for level II somehow.

Ginny is extremely active (a huge understatement) in fact so much so, that I need to take a valium or two OR at least drink a 26er of vodka (or maybe Gin ...that's a whole other story of how she got her name) when I am around her. She sleeps about a total of 10 minutes at one time and then she is off doing something she shouldn't be. She does not chase balls or sticks at all. It is too beneath "Her Highness". In fact, when I throw one across the lawn for her, she looks at me and I am sure she is thinking "what did you throw it way over there for
dumbass...now look how far you have to walk to get it." How stoopid are humans! I am looking to get her into agility but am being told she must have good manners before we can join. She has no "recall" whatsoever and believes that "come here" means "run really, really fast in the opposite direction from your master and don't come back until she is either a) in tears, b) screaming like a banshee or c) hysterically pulling out her hair. We are also working on "sit", which she sometimes confuses with the other word "sh-t" and "stay", get real... forget about it, she can't sit still that long.

Ginny is the smartest dog I have ever owned (well, at least a lot smarter than me). She is also the most stubborn, bossy and frustrating dog (I don't know where she got that from) but can't you tell I love her dearly! On average, we try get about 3 hours of exercise a day and about 7-8 on weekends, which is not enough for either of them. To those that don't own
border collies, you need to know that 3 hours of exercise to a border collie is called "taking a nap". I would give them more but unfortunately to keep them in kibble and leather shoes, I have to work. I, on the other hand am quite comfortable with the amount and if I have to do more I will be looking into a motorized scooter.......maybe I can get them to pull me around......yeah right, get real....

Ok to be serious for a moment, the best thing I have ever done has been getting two dogs to love. They are a giant pain in the "you know what" but love you no matter what you look like or even if you yelled at them yesterday or you have a bad case of "bedhead" or forshame, haven't shaved your legs for 6 months.

Plus I have lost 21 pounds over the past few months...cripes I didn't even do that for any man in my life. My suggestion to all, and I know there are a few out there who love furry little
animals (don't forget I know some of your husbands) is to get a dog (or two, or three) to love
and be loved. Just remember, if you do decide to ask a dog to live with you, find out what
you can about the breed you are interested in before you get him or her and make sure you
have enough time in your lives to keep them happy. Oh and also, be prepared to get a second job so you can keep them in the style they want to be accustomed to. Don't forget to look at the older ones first as they are harder to place and need a home to spend the last year's of their lives with someone to love and to be kind to them. Look at Brandon, he's nine, no spring chicken but I wouldn't trade him for all the gold in China. Then get a younger one to keep you and your older pup young and active.

Geez, did I lead a boring life before the dogs or what! It's just not the same walking a cat.