WHY
ISN'T A BORDER COLLIE A GOOD PET FOR MY KIDS?
Border
collies are one of the most attractive breeds of dog out there.
Especially when they are fluffy rolly polly puppies, but even
when they are handsome, intelligent looking adults, the striking
contrast of colours in their coats and their enthusiasm and responsiveness
make them natural people magnets. It's no surprise that people
are so attracted to the breed.
But
there is a lot more to a border collie than what meets the eye.
Below that gleaming, fluffy exterior is the heart of a hunter,
the brains of a criminal mastermind and the reflexes of Jackie
Chan.
It's
actually fairly surprising to me how many people think that border
collies are the Ultimate Family Pet, when in reality, nothing
could be further from the truth. There are breeds that are even
less suited as family dogs, but border collies are definitely
on the list. There are some really serious considerations to take
into account when you are thinking about adding a border collie
to your family no matter who you are, but especially when you
have young kids or are planning on starting a family.
Myth
#1 - border collies are good pets for children because they will
"herd" the kids and keep them safe.
This
is such a heartwarming notion, it's no wonder people hold onto
it so tightly. It brings to mind tableaus like Gyp the collie
bravely nudging little Timmy and his two best friends, who are
running to retrieve their softball, away from a busy road seconds
before a drunken driver careens over the center line and narrowly
avoids killing everyone in his path.
Here's
the real picture: Gyp the collie is more likely to chase after
those three running boys nipping at their sleeves and pantcuffs,
simply because they are moving. Border collies are highly stimulated
by movement and one of the number one complaints of parents who
have border collies is that their dog keeps biting the kids whenever
they move faster than a slow walk. In fact, Gyp is more likely
to make those poor kids run even faster to get away from him,
and drive them right into the path of the oncoming car …
if, in fact, Gyp isn't too busy already chasing the drunken driver
and his careening vehicle.
Border
collies do not "herd" children. On the whole, the breed
is bright enough to know the difference between sheep and kids.
BUT a border collie is also bred to react swiftly and meaningfully
to movement and that is deeply ingrained in his character. That
means that more than likely, your border collie will leap up and
run after your kid and his friends every time they race across
the living room or the yard, much like he would go after a tennis
ball or a rat. There's a good chance than when he catches up to
them, he's going to grab them with his mouth too, not because
he's aggressive, but because that kind of response is natural
to the dog. And even though little Timmy and his parents know
this about Gyp, little Joey's parents, who aren't dog lovers,
are likely to be extremely angry when their son gets nipped at
and his shirt torn. That means potential law suits, and even death
for poor Gyp, who was just doing what he was bred to do.
What's
more, the activity of small children is actually likely to make
a border collie agitated or overstimulated. Young kids are loud,
have high pitched voices, they move in unexpected ways and don't
follow any kind of pattern. This is all really stressful for an
animal that likes to control things, who cannot help himself from
responding to sudden movements or loud noises and who dislike
the unfamiliar quite a bit. Lots of bites to children occur
not because the dog is bad, or the child is bad, but because they
just make a bad combination when they are together.
Myth
#2 Border Collies are easy to train, so even my 6 year old can
make him be obedient.
Wouldn't
that be great? Nothing warms the cockles of a dog lover's heart
more than to see a little boy and his dog companionably palling
about like two peas in a pod in an empty field somewhere.
Here's
what you're more likely to see: there goes Gyp, off and
running around and completely ignoring the half commands and yells
of the pint sized person that Gyp knows can't enforce squat when
it comes to training.
Border
collies have a real tendency to engage in what we call "ranking
up." These dogs are super smart, that's true enough, but
it makes them harder to train, not easier. For starters, Gyp has
already figured out the family dynamic and he knows that he's
smarter and more capable than your kid, so he figures "why
on earth would I listen to that little guy? My instincts tell
me that I should take charge when I know more than my handler
does, so I'm going to do what I think is best here."
(Don't
believe us? Try taking your dog out on sheep some time and see
what happens. If you don't know a thing about herding, Gyp's going
to suss that out real fast and your well trained dog is going
to ignore your every command because his ancestry is telling him
"take control, everything's going awry!")
Border
collies are actually more challenging to train because of their
smarts. They learn bad habits very easily (Once Is A Habit For
A Border Collie) which means that as soon as Gyp figures out that
little Timmy isn't going to follow through on enforcing a command,
he's very likely to simply ignore it altogether. Border collies
make tremendous working partners to adults that they respect;
this is very often not how they feel about small humans at all.
Myth
#3 - Border collies are such beautiful, friendly, tactile dogs
who adore people and love attention.
This
is not actually a child-dog myth, but it's an important one. Because
so many people's exposure to border collies is often on television,
they really get a one sided, unrealistic portrait of the breed
as super social butterflies who live to please.
They
see intense, adoring sheepdogs glued to the shepherd's knee in
herding trials, or they see intense, handler focused agility dogs
staring at their humans with unabashed expectancy. What you don't
know, if you've been fooled by this already, is that to have this
kind of relationship with your dog you need to work with him a
lot and give him a reason to treat you as a sort of deity. The
border collie who works at a task with his human partner loves
that person in no small part because that person controls all
the fun stuff in life, and that person is directly responsible
for giving the dog meaningful tasks to do.
The
breed does not tend to be really social, on the whole, and often
doesn't respond well to unsolicited attention. They are often
handler focused and indifferent to affection offered by other
non-worthies, however sincerely that attention might be offered.
The reason this is an important distinction to make when it comes
to Gyp and little Timmy, is that Gyp might be really bonded to
Tim Sr. and not have a lot of patience for little Timmy's unrestrained
gestures of affection.
Many
times I've had someone tell me their child is good with dogs because
he is a "very affectionate kid" and they just know that
Gyp is going to love all the hugs, pats and snuggles that Timmy
has to offer. The truth is, if you have a child like this you've
got to have a basically bomb-proof dog who can tolerate being
mauled by a young child on a regular basis. For non stop motion
machines like Gyp, who is ready to fly into action at a moment's
notice, being crawled on and smothered by a child feels confining,
claustrophobic and a little frightening.
And
remember how we said "once is a habit for a border collie?"
This applies to the social learning curve for border collies -
one bad experience with an overzealous child, like an ear tug
or an eye poke, and Gyp could be turned off kids forever. He might
be actively afraid of going near little Timmy, or he might growl,
snarl or even bite in anticipation of being hurt or frightened
again.
Myth
#4 - We've got a big piece of property, so a border collie would
be happy here.
This
myth is also a popular one. People are pretty sure that even though
they have 4 kids under the age of 10 and a full time job, a border
collie will be happy to live with them because they have 2/3s
of an acre for the dog to run around on.
The
sad reality - a really high number of border collies are turned
into rescue or shelters because once Timmy Sr. and his wife had
a baby, their world got turned a little upside down. Suddenly,
there's not a lot of time left in the day for Gyp, who doesn't
know what the little screaming bundle in the spare room is, so
he's a little stressed; wonders why Tim Sr. shoos him from the
room every time he barks at the baby; doesn't understand why he
gets let into the yard and no one comes with him to play ball
and is worried about Mrs. Tim who is so short tempered and sleepy
all the time.
Or
Gyp gets adopted when little Timmy and his three siblings are
at that age where they're joining soccer teams, have swimming
lessons, piano practice and ballet class. After a few months,
the novelty of Gyp wears off and the kids aren't so eager to play
with him every minute of the day. When everyone comes home from
work and school he gets rushed into the backyard for a pee before
the family heads off to do their various extracurricular activities
and once again Gyp is left alone. If he's lucky, he gets bundled
in the mini van and taken to Timmy's baseball game, where he is
then forced to lie under the bleaches for a couple of hours watching
action that he doesn't get to take part in. Gyp gets scolded and
locked in his kennel a lot for chewing up Timmy's brother's soccer
cleats because he's bored and when he starts digging in the garden,
Mrs. Tim is really annoyed with him. But there's just not enough
time in the day for Gyp - there are too many other family activities
going on.
Border
collies are interactive companions; they need your time and attention
every single day to be happy partners. They can't just be let
out into the yard for hours on end to amuse themselves, they want
and need to be part of the family - and they need exercise and
activity every day. This is not the job of Timmy and his siblings,
this is Mr. and Mrs. Tim's job, and if Timmy's parents are too
busy and stretched too thin to give Gyp what he needs, Gyp is
the one who loses out.
Myth #5 - We had a border collie when I was a kid and he was
great, so I KNOW that we're a good family for this breed.
Remember
when Gyp the first joined your family 30 years ago; you were about
8 years old and lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood? Gyp was
always waiting in the courtyard for you after school, and he spent
his days roaming around, scaring up rabbits and hanging out with
the neighbor's Lab. Everyone just sort of accepted that sometimes
he'd get into their garbage and a couple of times he knocked up
the German Shepherd down the street and the puppies were just
so cute? Those were such great times, and Gyp was such a great
dog.
You
aren't your parents. What you don't remember is your mum on
her knees scrubbing dog vomit out of the carpet, or your dad getting
up at 6AM to take Gyp for a good long walk before he went off
to work. You were busy playing with your pals when Mr. Smith down
the road yelled at your dad because Gyp kept lifting his leg on
his doorstep when his Fifi was in season. You don't remember all
the shoes, cameras and sofa cushions he destroyed because, well,
you were 8 years old and who cares about sofas when they're eight
years old?
Fast
forward 30 years and dog ownership is a lot tougher too. The leash
laws are pretty strict in almost all cities, and today's Gyp would
be impounded with increasingly larger fines for roaming like the
first Gyp did. That means Gyp needs a lot more supervised walks.
If you do let him roam, he's more likely to get hit by a car,
because there are a lot more of those around, and if he barks
when you leave him in the yard, expect a visit and/or a fine from
City Hall. You probably work longer hours than your dad did, and
your wife probably works as well; probably your mum stayed at
home. That means Gyp, a dog whose lineage tells him he is supposed
to work hard every day, is actually laying around your house bored
senseless, and when you and your wife finally get home from an
exhausting day, it's tough to rustle up the enthusiasm to take
Gyp for a run for an hour or so, especially when it's raining
outside.
The fact is, what you remember about your childhood with Gyp the
First is not Gyp, but in fact, your childhood. EVERYTHING was
better back then (the grass was greener, flowers smelled better,
gas was cheaper and kids weren't so damn rude). You weren't Gyp's
primary caregiver and you had a lot fewer responsibilities in
your life too. Your childhood dog, as great as he was, was not
as great as you think he was. He was still a dog, and owning a
dog is a lot of work.
Some
families and border collies really make it work. We don't
mean to suggest that no family in the world today gets along with
their border collie, and that all border collies are terrible
with kids and / or neglected in the garage. Of course there are
some very happy dogs, kids and parents out there right this minute
loving their lives and everyone is content. But that's because
they make a real effort, and the dogs were a good match for their
families.
There
are border collies that are great with kids. Maybe
Gyp isn't the right dog for you, but Sweep might be. Maybe Sweep
loved the family kids dearly but the parents didn't want the dog
anymore, so he ended up in rescue. If you do feel certain you
can keep Sweep busy and happy within your family dynamic, and
you know Sweep has a good history with kids, by all means look
at adopting Sweep. He's probably a much better choice than a puppy
from the farmer in the next municipality.
Wait
until your kids are older. Don't bite off more than you can
chew. If you are already exhausted from chasing your toddlers
around and your newborn doesn't let you sleep through the night,
and five minutes alone on the sofa is like the best gift ever
to you, now is not the right time to get a dog. You won't have
time for him, and that's not fair for him or you. Wait until your
kids are more independent and you have more free time to spend
with the dog.
Get
the dog for you, not for your kids. No matter how keen your
children are to get a dog, you can bet the farm on the plain truth;
your kids are not going to get up at 3AM, 4:30AM and 6AM when
Sweep has diarrhea and has to go outside. Your kids are not going
to get up an hour early in the winter to make sure he gets out
there and has a good run in the morning. When your kids discover
The Opposite Sex, Sweep is going to be pretty much the last thing
on their mind. And when your kids move out into cheap, moldy rental
apartments or go off to college dorms, chances are they won't
be able to take Sweep with them. That means he stays with you.
And Sweep could live for 16 years or more, so make sure that although
you told the kids you'd get "them" a dog, secretly,
Sweep is really for you.
We
think so highly of border collies. It breaks our hearts to see
them tossed away like yesterday's fad toy to languish in shelters,
or passed from home to home, growing more nervous and uncertain
with each family swap. These dogs are such intelligent, loyal
animals that they deserve a lifetime commitment, and yet everyday
someone, somewhere, turns their border collie into a shelter or
a rescue organization. Literally thousands of dogs are killed
in this country each and every years because there are more dogs
than there are families with time for them so please, unless you
know you can give a border collie - or any dog - a meaningful
home for life, don't overestimate your availability. Wait until
you can do right by your dog.
